This is a blog that contains nothing more than open letters to my younger self who was struggling with a dysfunctional family environment dominated by a mother who was severely wounded by her own childhood. These letters are a way for me to connect with the feelings I was not permitted to express while growing up… and to let them go. I don’t need to carry these with me anymore. But the process of expressing empathy with the child I was allows me to feel now what I needed back then… forgiveness for being human. A scrappy, stubborn, angry, misfit of a human. But a human nonetheless.
If you find some connection in these letters, I hope that you also find some healing. For those of you who are still in an environment like the one these letters describe… I hope that one day, you allow yourself the opportunity to feel for yourself and for others what is so hard for you to find right now: Love, patience, and compassion. You do not need to earn these feelings. You are worthy of them simply by existing. I know you don’t believe this right now. But the journey towards this acceptance is possible. I wish you the best.
Here are all of the Letters on two pages listed by oldest at the top to the most recent at the bottom. It might help to read from the top down… or perhaps not. I trust you to figure it out.